Tony's Freaken Sweet Web Site

Dear Diary

03/01/09

Nice way to start the new year, finding out that my Supergoove video is on Supergroove's MySpace page!

I'd also like to point out that currently it's the very first video on their site ;-)

Cheers for posting it on there, guys!

31/11/08

Happy New Year Everyone!

Thanks to all those who have visited my site this year! Clocking up around 100 unique visitors per day.

30/11/08

It was James's birthday yesterday, so we met up at Waxy O'Conner's to have a few drinks.

Here's some snaps taken right at the end of the night. Here's Andrew, James, Bridget, Andrew (Dotchin) and moi:

Dancing around in circles with Andrew... Seemed totally appropriate at the time!

Bit of air guitar thrown in there...

And the birthday boy himself:

28/11/08

Wandering through Waterloo Station this morning I saw that they put a lovely Xmas tree up!

And who said Xmas was becoming too commercial?! I just love the star on top...

27/11/08

Overcrowding on trains in London is going to be reduced! They're rewriting the guidelines on the acceptable number of people allowed to stand before it's classified as "overcrowded". Changing it from 10 people standing per 100 seats to 30 per 100 seats.

Seriously, I'm not making this up.

On much better news, Dennis, Lindsey, Bridget and I went to see Dave Dobbyn the other night:

And we happened to bump in to Sam and Ngaire while we were there!

Dave was fantastic, double Fonzie thumbs up:

Of course we had exclusive back stage passes (pics done by my phone cam):

Dave, rockin' on:

18/11/08

Let me add that that was a spectacular beautiful site to see you guys come up underneath us, and ahh, wow, just ah, we got some great video of you doing the torva manoeuvre, and, ah, you look beautiful, beautiful site.

What's that I hear you say? "TONY! Why are you transcribing lines from your latest fettish videos?!"? Well, you're WRONG! I just transcribed the voiceover from the latest spaceshuttle dock with the IIS. Seriously, this guy should write down what he's gonna say BEFORE he opens his mouth to record what comes out of it in to the history books...

Clearing out my camera and thought I'd post a couple of pics I've taken recently, one from James's flat when a bunch of us went round there the other weekend and trashed it:

And one I took of the fireworks at Clapham Common a few weeks ago (taken through some trees):

05/11/08

First of all, well done Obama, don't f*ck it up.

Secondly, there was an article in the Metro last Monday, was interesting enough for me to scan it and send it around at work (seeing as we're in the energy industry):

John, my boss, was so annoyed by one of the comments he sent in a response. Surprise, surprise, a well thought out reply by someone who knows what they're talking about got the star letter:

Personally, I think John's just trying to compete with me, ;-)

17/10/08

What a pack of waankers people are! I just received the following:

Dear bakertony, Video Disabled A copyright owner has claimed it owns some or all of the audio content in your video Jamica (Negril). The audio content identified in your video is Is This Love by Bob Marley & The Wailers. We regret to inform you that your video has been blocked from playback due to a music rights issue.

Stiiiink! I had 12,138 views on that video up until now and it's not as if I make a single penny from it, in fact people have asked what the song is (and might've actually brought the damn thing after hearing it). I wonder how many more of my videos are about to go bye-bye.

I vow never to pay for music from this day forward if even a single penny goes to the record industry. Screw you guys, I'll only pay if 100% goes to the artist.

07/10/08

Bridget and I went out to Essex last Friday for a booze up with some of her friends. Was a real good ol' party out in the sticks, check out the size of the pig on the spit!

Tasted as fantastic as it looks, unless you're a vego, in which case it tasted the opposite of how it looks :-)

24/09/08

I finally found some time to create another video!

It's of us paragliding in Turkey.

Check it out here!

23/09/08

A bunch of us went out for dinner and drinks on Fri, here are a few pics I took!

Matt and Anne in the background watching Caroline and Crazy drink using straws. Unfortunately, Crazy forgot that he needed a straw, not that it stopped him from trying...

Dennis wet his pants in this pic and hoped that no one would notice. James is pretty happy that he's managed to almost get through a pint without wetting his, Lindsey is wondering if anyone can notice her 5 o'clock shadow, Bridget simply looks gorgeous while Richard shows matt just how long his, er, forearm is...

Here we all are at dinner!

Shan, Anne, Craig, Dennis, Lindsey, Crazy, Chris, James, Richard, Matt, me, Caroline and Mark:

The service at Chez Gerard was impeccable... well, once Dennis lent a hand:

Shan, Dennis and Richard spelling out CAS which is their new 'gang'. Trust me, you don't wanna be in it...

22/09/08

Bridget and I went mountain biking around Richmond park on the weekend and we came across this cool looking tree:

12/08/08

If you're a true geek, you know the the LHC (Large Hadron Collider) is coming online this year. As you all know, it's designed to test the Standard Model of Physics and will create black holes that will swallow the earth and surrounding solar system (well, in Hollywood and scaremongering from the types of people who truly believe the Earth is flat perhaps).

I know you're already damn excited about what physicists will find when they smash protons together near the speed of light, but just to push you right over the edge, you have to check out this video.

Damn and I thought I was geeky!

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28/11/08

Lisa sent me this video, just to show me how crap my new ubergeek phone is...

14/11/08

A cuzzy sent me this to time with the National Party being elected in to power in NZ recently:

06/11/08

Crazy sent around a couple of videos of Gordon Ramsay as a kid which were DAMN funny. I did a search on you tube and came up with these gems, guaranteed to make you laugh:
part 1
part 2
part 3

Bec's sent around a video of the Aussie Haka, saying it was an oldie but def a goodie, well, I hadn't seen it before!

Bec's also sent around these Irish jokes:

Paddy & Mick go to London to donate sperm. It was a disaster! Paddy missed the tube & Mick came on the bus!!

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A Muslim was sitting next to Paddy on a plane. Paddy odered a whiskey. The stewardess asked the Muslim if he'd like a drink.

He replied in disgust "I'd rather be raped by a dozen whores than let liquor touch my lips!"

Paddy handed his drink back & said "Me too, I didnt know we had a choice!"

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Paddy calls Easyjet to book a flight. The operator asks "How many people are flying with you?"

Paddy replies "I dont know! Its your f***ing plane!!"

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Paddy & Murphy are working on a building site. Paddy says to Murphy "Im gonna have the day off, Im gonna prtend Im mad!"

He climbs up the rafters , hangs upside down & shouts "I'M A LIGHTBULB! I'M A LIGHTBULB!" Murphy watches in amazement!

The Foreman shouts "Paddy you're mad, go home" So he leaves the site.

Murphy starts packing his kit up to leave as well.

"Where the hell are you going?" asks the Foreman.

"I cant work in the friggin dark! " says Murphy.

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Two Irish couples decided to swap partners for the night. After 3 hours of amazing sex Paddy says "I wonder how the girls are getting on"

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Paddy takes his new wife to bed on their wedding night. She undresses & lies on the bed spreadeagled & says "You know what I want dont you?"

"Yeah," says Paddy. "The whole friggin bed by the looks of it!"

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Q. Whats a Catholic priest & a pint of Guiness got in common?

A. black coat, white collar & you've got to watch your arse if you get a dodgy one!

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Paddy the electrician got sacked from the U.S. prison service for not servicing the electric chair. He said in his professional opinion it was a death trap!

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Paddy's chat up lines:

1. Did ya fart? 'Cos ya just blew me away!
2. Are your parents retarded? 'Cos your special!
3. My love for you is like diarrhoea. I just cant hold it in!
4. Is there a mirror in your knickers? 'Cos I can see myself in them!
5. Your body reminds me of a spanner. Evertime I think of you my nuts tighten up!
6. You might not be the best looking girl in here, but beauty is only a light switch away!

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Paddy, the Irish boyfriend of the woman whos head was found on Arbroath beach was asked to identify her. A detective held up the head to which point Paddy said "I dont think thats her, she wasnt that tall!"

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Paddy & his wife are lying in bed & the neighbours dog is barking like mad in the garden. Paddy says "To hell with this!" & storms off.

He comes back upstairs 5 mins later & his wife asks "What did you do?"

Paddy replies "Ive put the dog in our garden, lets see how they like it!"

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An Irishman is shagging a Jewish girl & says "You're not very tight for a Jew!"

She says "Well you're not very thick for a Paddy!"

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Paddy is said to be shocked at finding out all his cows have Bluetongue. "Be Jeysus!" he said, "I didnt even know they had mobile phones!"

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Mick & Paddy are reading head stones at a nearby cemetery. Mick say "Crikey! Theres a bloke here who was 152!"

Paddy says "Whats his name?"

Mick replies "Miles from London !"

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An Irishman is rowing his boat in a field of hay. Paddy drives past & stops. He looks at the Irishman in the boat & shouts "Its thick c**ts like you that give us Irish a bad name! I'd come over there & kick the f**k out of you if I could swim!"

09/10/08

Everyone has herd the "Only in America" saying, well, after living overseas for the past 8+ years, I can safely say there is a "Only in New Zealand" saying too. Case in point:

Couple argue over custody of possum
By KATHRYN KING - The Dominion Post | Thursday, 09 October 2008
The fur was flying as police were called to a domestic dispute when an estranged couple fought over who would get custody of their pet possum.
But the pair could find themselves caught in the headlights for harbouring a notorious pest.
Hamilton police charged a woman, 21, with assault after she allegedly kicked her way into her former partner's house yesterday and then kicked him. The dispute was over custody of the possum, which has been left in the man's care.
...

Also, Bec's sent around this goodie (when I was reading it I was imagining my Uncle Lee saying it, he loves telling these sorta jokes):

Three couples were playing golf together. They were Swedish, Irish and, Scottish. The Swede's wife steps up to the tee and, as she bends over to place her ball, a gust of wind blows her skirt up and reveals her lack of underwear.

'Good God, woman! Why aren't you wearing any skivvies?', Ole demanded. 'Well, you don't give me enough housekeeping money to afford any.'

The Swede immediately reaches into his pocket and says, 'For the sake of decency, here's a 50. Go and buy yourself some underwear.'

Next, the Irishman's wife bends over to set her ball on the tee. Her skirt also blows up to show that she, too, is wearing noundies.

'Blessed Virgin Mary, woman! You've no knickers. Why not?' She replies, 'I can't afford any on the money you give me.'

Patrick reaches into his pocket and says , 'For the sake of decency, here's a 20. Go and buy yourself some underwear!'

Lastly, the Scotsman's wife bends over. The wind also takes her skirt over her head to reveal that she, too, is naked under it.

'SweetmudderofJaysus, Aggie! Wheretafrigginhell areyerdrawers?' She too explains, 'Youdinna give me enough moneyta be able taaffarrdany.'

The Scotsman reaches into his pocket and says, 'Well,fer the love 'o decency, here's a comb..... Tidyyerselfup a bit.
 

30/09/08

Petra sent around this cool video of a dog escaping...

24/09/08

Bec's sent around some amusing pics of how the credit crunch will affect Britian

09/09/08

Here's another email that was forwarded to my by my Mum. It's from our dog Rosie to my Auntie Fay's dog Poddy:

Hi Poddy,

Just a note to tell you that I am” A STAR”. Last week Emma, Mum, Tyla and me, took 2 of the miniature horses to visit the old folks home in Matamata. Tyla put my special Hollywood collar on (the one with sparkling diamonds that is worth a million dollars. I know this cos dad had a fit when he saw me wearing it after a shopping trip with the girls to town. “How much did that thing cost?” he asked. “Oh, just a million dollars” said mum, with a funny look at Emma.) So that’s how I know it’s worth a packet. Anyhow, here I was with my sparkly collar, looking a million dollars, and mum gives Tyla instructions. “Don’t let her lead go, don’t let her hop onto an old persons knee and don’t let her pee on anything”. I ASK YOU, was that really necessary? The visit was a roaring success. They loved me – oh, they loved the horses too. Emma just walked them up the ramp onto the deck and walked around letting the old folks pat the horses. They were all smiling and happy and, according to all the oldies, I was a perfect angel, a lovely little doggie, a real sweetie, gorgeous, a little love and it was truly amazing how many of them had had a dog just like me. Tyla was great too, she would stand and stroke their knees with her little hand and talk to them while they stoked me. Emma took the horses inside (Tyla and me went too of course) into the lounge and down the corridors and we visited lots of old folks lying in their beds – AND, I didn’t try to hop up onto any bed or anything. I walked on my tippy toes, which seemed to make mum smile a lot, and Tyla told me I was “ever such a good girl” about a trillion times. The horses were perfectly behaved too, which amazed me cos normally they chase me in their paddock, but they even let me share pats from the old people, especially when I stood on my hind legs and pushed their faces away with my head so I could get pats. This seemed to make everyone laugh so I did it lots. The horses did nothing wrong, they just stood there looking pretty. One old lady was 102 – imagine that Poddy, how many dog biscuits she must have eaten in her long life. She loved me and the horses, said she had horses when she was little, and a little dog like me. Emma took the horses into an old lady who was disturbed and hadn’t ever smiled or talked, only shouted angrily, for years and years. She knelt down and talked to the old lady and the old lady smiled and patted the horses and talked to Emma for ages. So mum sent me and Tyla into the room and she patted me and smiled at Tyla and said we were pretty – (she obviously wasn’t THAT disturbed – 20/20 vision and 250 IQ if you ask me). The nurse ladies were amazed and asked Emma to come again soon. Well Podman, I only nearly slipped up once, and that was when we walked past the kitchen and they were cooking lunch. My nose followed the smell into the kitchen, but Tyla quickly yanked on the lead and hauled me out of there, and Mum gave me THE LOOK, so all in all, the visit was a great success. When we were leaving the head lady said “Rosie, you’re a STAR” and patted me. Yea!

Must away and polish my bling collar. Luv Rosie

p.s. I didn’t pee once while I was there, but boy, did I spray the truck tyres when we got back to it.

13/08/08

Crazy sent in a public safety announcement for my web site (yeah, I know, ironic, ay?!)

I'm sure you all know NOT to throw water on to a grease fire in your kitchen.

You probably don't know why you shouldn't, it's because the water will sink to the bottom of the grease, superheat to steam and basically exploded the oil all over the bl00dy place.

Here's a video showing it in action.

Also, don't throw water on to electrical fires or your Mum.

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