US Anti
Terrorism Signs
The
government has a new website, http://www.ready.gov.
this is regarding anti terrorism. I’ve checked this site and yeah, these
are
for real (Tony).
The thing is that the pictures from the site are so ambiguous they could mean
anything! Here are a few interpretations.
If you have set yourself on fire, do not
run
If you spot terrorism, blow your
anti-terrorism whistle. If you are Vin Diesel, yell really loud.
If you spot a terrorist arrow, pin it
against the wall with your shoulder
If you are sprayed with an unknown
substance, stand and think about a cool design for a new tattoo.
Use your flashlight to lift the walls
right off of you!
The proper way to eliminate smallpox is
to wash with soap, water and at least one(1) armless hand.
Michael Jackson is a terrorist. If you
spot this smooth criminal with dead, dead eyes, run the hell away.
Hurricanes, animal corpses and your
potential new tattoo have a lot in common. Think about it.
Be on the lookout for terrorists with
pinkeye and leprosy. Also, they tend to rub their hands together manically.
If a door is closed, karate chop it open.
Try to absorb as much of the radiation as
possible with your groin region. After 5 minutes and 12 seconds, however, you
may become sterile
After exposure to radiation it is
important to consider that you may have mutated to gigantic dimensions: watch
your head.
If you've become a radiation mutant
with a deformed hand, remember to close the window. No one wants to see that
shiit.
-- If you hear the Backstreet Boys, Michael Bolton or Yanni on the radio, cower
in the corner or run like hell.
If your lungs and stomach start talking, stand with your arms akimbo until they
stop.
If you are trapped under falling debris,
conserve oxygen by not farting.
If you lose a contact lens during a
chemical attack, do not stop to look for it.
Do not drive a station wagon if a power
pole is protruding from the hood.
-- A one-inch thick piece of plywood
should be sufficient protection against radiation.
Always remember to carry food with you during a terrorist attack. At least
you'll be able to enjoy a nice coke and apple before you die.