28/11/08
Lisa sent me this video, just to show me how crap my new ubergeek phone is...
14/11/08
A cuzzy sent me this to time with the National Party being elected in to power in NZ recently:
06/11/08
Crazy sent around a couple of videos of Gordon
Ramsay as a kid which were DAMN funny. I did a search on you
tube and came up with these gems, guaranteed to make you laugh:
part 1
part 2
part 3
Bec's sent around a video of the Aussie Haka, saying it was an oldie but def a goodie, well, I hadn't seen it before!
Bec's also sent around these Irish jokes:
Paddy & Mick go to
London to donate sperm. It was a disaster! Paddy missed the tube
& Mick came on the bus!!
-----------
A Muslim was sitting next to Paddy on a plane. Paddy odered a
whiskey. The stewardess asked the Muslim if he'd like a drink.
He replied in disgust "I'd rather be raped by a dozen whores
than let liquor touch my lips!"
Paddy handed his drink back & said "Me too, I didnt know we had
a choice!"
-----------
Paddy calls Easyjet to book a flight. The operator asks "How
many people are flying with you?"
Paddy replies "I dont know! Its your f***ing plane!!"
-----------
Paddy & Murphy are working on a building site. Paddy says to
Murphy "Im gonna have the day off, Im gonna prtend Im mad!"
He climbs up the rafters , hangs upside down & shouts "I'M A
LIGHTBULB! I'M A LIGHTBULB!" Murphy watches in amazement!
The Foreman shouts "Paddy you're mad, go home" So he leaves the
site.
Murphy starts packing his kit up to leave as well.
"Where the hell are you going?" asks the Foreman.
"I cant work in the friggin dark! " says Murphy.
---------------
Two Irish couples decided to swap partners for the night. After
3 hours of amazing sex Paddy says "I wonder how the girls are
getting on"
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Paddy takes his new wife to bed on their wedding night. She
undresses & lies on the bed spreadeagled & says "You know what I
want dont you?"
"Yeah," says Paddy. "The whole friggin bed by the looks of it!"
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Q. Whats a Catholic priest & a pint of Guiness got in common?
A. black coat, white collar & you've got to watch your arse if
you get a dodgy one!
-------------------
Paddy the electrician got sacked from the U.S. prison service
for not servicing the electric chair. He said in his
professional opinion it was a death trap!
--------------------
Paddy's chat up lines:
1. Did ya fart? 'Cos ya just blew me away!
2. Are your parents retarded? 'Cos your special!
3. My love for you is like diarrhoea. I just cant hold it in!
4. Is there a mirror in your knickers? 'Cos I can see myself in
them!
5. Your body reminds me of a spanner. Evertime I think of you my
nuts tighten up!
6. You might not be the best looking girl in here, but beauty is
only a light switch away!
--------------
Paddy, the Irish boyfriend of the woman whos head was found on
Arbroath beach was asked to identify her. A detective held up
the head to which point Paddy said "I dont think thats her, she
wasnt that tall!"
--------------
Paddy & his wife are lying in bed & the neighbours dog is
barking like mad in the garden. Paddy says "To hell with this!"
& storms off.
He comes back upstairs 5 mins later & his wife asks "What did
you do?"
Paddy replies "Ive put the dog in our garden, lets see how they
like it!"
-------------
An Irishman is shagging a Jewish girl & says "You're not very
tight for a Jew!"
She says "Well you're not very thick for a Paddy!"
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Paddy is said to be shocked at finding out all his cows have
Bluetongue. "Be Jeysus!" he said, "I didnt even know they had
mobile phones!"
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Mick & Paddy are reading head stones at a nearby cemetery. Mick
say "Crikey! Theres a bloke here who was 152!"
Paddy says "Whats his name?"
Mick replies "Miles from London !"
-----------
An Irishman is rowing his boat in a field of hay. Paddy drives
past & stops. He looks at the Irishman in the boat & shouts "Its
thick c**ts like you that give us Irish a bad name! I'd come
over there & kick the f**k out of you if I could swim!"