The next day the weather was still fairly rubbish, so we decided to go hooning around on scooters.
We heard about this tourist spot called the "roaring river" which sounded exciting so we thought we'd head off there.
We started the day off with breakfast at the rockhouse resort:
Before our "guide" (dude who hired the scooters for us) took us off towards the "roaring river" (we said we didn't want a guide whatsoever, but he said "oh, I'm heading out that way to see my Grandma so I'll take you").
"Safety first" was his motto:
Was great getting out into the country:
One of the local kids:
And this was it. This is what they call the roaring river:
I wouldn't call the Jamaican's overly greedy now that they've got a taste for the American tourist dollar, but a wander around this stream cost us US$15 EACH and the guide who took us on the walk around it plus through his village (which we were told the US$15 each covered) and around a sugar plantation back to the scooters wanted a further US$20 EACH from us (there was no fu<ken way I was going to pay that). Once we finally got back to the bikes, there were guys standing around it saying "you give us tip for guarding your bikes now". Asking them if they would steal them if we didn't cough up a "tip" was greeted with a "no mon" but the stare from a few of his boys prompted a donation from us at any rate.
After also paying off the guy who drove with us there, even though we didn't want him (but he came anyway claiming he was off to his grandmother) and driving along a dodgy road and around the coast for a few hours, we finally dropped off the bikes and were promptly asked for a further tip by the bike rental guys because they gave us a "really good deal". By this time I couldn't be arsed dealing with any more of this craap and I just laughed at him saying "what, you want us to tip you for letting you rent us your bikes?!" and wandered off.
Honestly, it's getting to the stage in Jamaica were you have to tip a person you pass in the street if they say "how you doin' mon". Asking if we wanted pot would follow very quickly after of course, along with the reassurance that it would be "really good shiit", unlike from the other 12 million people who said the same thing 10 seconds ago.
Here is the guide who took us for the wander:
Chilling out having a beer in his village:
This is the result of a hurricane passing through:
Some of the guides magic mushroom stash:
Here is a sneaky photo of the "blue lagoon", yes, the famous one where Brooke Shields shows her goodies. The guide wanted a further $8 each to open the gate and show us. I'm not that cheap, but screw him.
More wandering around through the "mountains"
Here is my "how many animals can I get in one shot" photo, with sugar cane in the background:
Here's our guide sucking on some sugar cane (tastes rather nice actually):
Sugar cane plantation with mountains in background:
Crazy and I took of on our two wheeled adventure along some crazy roads, stopping to check out a wood carving shop:
And having more Jerk for lunch:
This time we tried Jerk pork, food of the Gods!
Crazy nearly came off and killed himself only the once on the scooters, so we did pretty bloody good for us!
By Tony Baker: email