Tony's Freaken Sweet Web Site

Dear Diary

10/06/09

OK, fine, this picture of me with Austin (Shan and Ian's new bub) has been doing the rounds thanks to Shan:

Yeah, yeah, makes me look soft. What was REALLY going on, however, was me lulling Austin in to a false sense of security that the world is a lovely place, full of smiles and free milk. Just as he was relaxing, I'd snap him back to the cold hard realities of the world:

That'll learn him.

Here's a few more snaps of bunch last Sat.

One of Dennis, looking far softer than myself:

Matt and Anne's turn with Austin:

Ian and Shan extra happy that they got to offload Austin for 5 mins:

Dennis: "Look at my sexy Belly!"

Crazy being, well, normal:

The crew also got Shan a birthday "cake" seeing as it was so close to her birthday:

Grope photo:

(Going round the table: Lindsey, Dennis, Becs, James, Cynthia, Shan, Ian, Bridget, Matt, Richard, Chris, Marta, Crazy, Terry and myself. Guess Anne was away from the table!)

07/05/09

I'll admit it, I REALLY wanna go see the new Star Trek movie, which comes out today in the UK, but I can't go watch it tonight because I have to hang out with mates drinking, laughing and having fun. BOO!

To tie me over, I came across this video review of Star Trek, from the Onion. Fantastic.

19/03/09

BRIDGET AND I ARE ENGAGED!!!

FINALLY I've popped the question to Bridget, in fantastic Abel Tasman on the 11th of March! Check out my Abel Tasman and Engagement page for the lowdown...

 03/02/09

Honestly, snow seems to bring out only the thickest morons on charge in London. There was total chaos yesterday with all Buses cancelled, leaving people on night-shifts totally stuffed for getting home, let alone people trying to get in.

Why were all the buses cancelled? Not because the streets were covered in snow, nooooo, the major bus routes were cleared by TFL (Transport For London). The buses were cancelled because they didn't clear the side roads from the bus depots. Seriously, I'm not making this shiit up:

Of course, the mere thought handing all the bus drivers standing around doing nothing, a shovel to clear the road would be a grave sin, that's well outside the poor dears job spec. Much better for the loves to have SNOWBALL FIGHTS in front of the newspaper cameras to improve public relations. Oh, and the fact that all the buses were parked up and down Putney High street, making it a right pain in the ass for the road gritters/graders to do their job didn't make me think for one second "Hmm, how the hell did all the buses get on to the friggen main street to park up and do nothing in the FIRST BL00DY PLACE?!", oh no.

Either way, I don't care, I just worked from home, I just like moaning and pointing out fu<ktards. Speaking of fu<ktards, this morning at the train station while waiting for the delayed train on a packed platform #2, there was an announcement "This is a platform alteration, the next train to London Waterloo will now be departing from platform #1". There was the usual "tut-tut" noises from everyone, as well as the faint noise of  "what the FU<K! Your MORONS!" coming from me, while the hundreds of commuters climbed up the stairs to get across to the other platform. Just as basically everyone had done so, apart from Bridget and myself because we went all the way down the platform initially, there was another announcement "The next train to Waterloo will be on platfrom #1 in 4 mins, the train after that will be leaving from platform #2 in 6 mins". Again, the "tut-tuts" and faint sound of "FRIGGEN BL00DY MORONS" filled the air again as we decided to stay on platform #2 with everyone else left on it.

What platform did the next train finally turn up to? That's right, platform #2. This time I was too busy laughing for the sound of "FU<KTARDS!!!" to fill the air and the tut-tuts were coming too thick and fast over on platform #1 for me to have been heard at any rate.

Ya just can't make this shiit up.

02/02/09

Hoo Wee! Woke up this morning to the biggest snowfall London has seen in 18 years! Here's Bridget outside our front door:

View from our lounge:

From the top floor of our building:

It's also been the coldest winter in London for over a decade. Of course, all busses in London have been suspended, the trains and roads are totally stuffed as well. Bad enough when you get a couple of leaves on the line in fall, let alone a few inches of snow! Bridge and I are working from home today :-)

01/02/09

I set another time-lapse video going out my kitchen window and was lucky enough to catch a snow flurry passing across London! It's quite a dramatic change in weather, from this:

to this:

and back again, in a 30 second video.

Download or watch on youtube.

03/01/09

Nice way to start the new year, finding out that my Supergoove video is on Supergroove's MySpace page!

I'd also like to point out that currently it's the very first video on their site ;-)

Cheers for posting it on there, guys!

31/12/08

Happy New Year Everyone!

Thanks to all those who have visited my site this year! Clocking up around 100 unique visitors per day.

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27/06/09

Karin sent me what has to be the best freaken video I've seen in a long long time. The literal version of Total Eclipse of the Heart. Seriously, amazing.

26/06/09

Wow, Michael Jackson has just died at the age of 50 from a heart attack!

Reporter in the field, cuzzy Tania says:

Reports are coming through that Michael Jackson has stated in his will that he is to be melted down and made in to toys so that the kids can still play with him...

Dennis thinks there's fowl play involved, saying:
"I was thrilled when i heard he was doing this tour...its just bad, off the wall even"
he's investigating everyone he can find in response to MJ's death, starting with the man in the mirror.

Kent looks like he may in some way be involved with his death, he said "I was asking him to change his ways, but who knows, all I do know is, don't blame it on the sunshine, blame it on the boogie, his heart just couldn't beat it".

Further quote from Kent:

MJ was "Gone too soon". We have to all "Come together right now", "keep the faith" and "remember the time" that we all spent listening to to his "bad" ass songs.

Andrew just can't believe it, he's clinging on to false hope, saying "yeah, still could be a false alarm, maybe they mistook a mannequin for him"

Personally, I've just found out that tickets to see one of Michael Jackson's 50 concerts at the O2 here in London are now priced reasonably, and I've heard the IRS is desperate enough for money that they're pointing out Michael Jackson doesn't need embalming fluid.

Yep, hearing of his death is something you probably won't forget, people will be saying:
Where were you when you heard about Diana's death? "Do you remember the time" you heard about Michael Jackson's?!

OK, I've gotta stop now... Shamon

Right, that didn't last for long, here's the WORST MJ jokes:

Apparently the last words he uttered as they were putting him into the ambulance outside his house were "children's ward please..."

He didn't have a heart attack as reported. They found him in the children's ward having a stroke

Michael Jackson wants to be cremated and put in to kids cereal boxes, so he can go through the ass of 5 year old boys one last time.

16/06/09

Petra sent around this video, How to lose your job as a TV interviewer

05/06/09

Here's a joke from Petra:

Skinny little white guy goes into an elevator, looks up and sees this HUGE black guy standing next to him.

The big guy sees the little guy staring at him, looks down and Says: "7 feet tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch dick, 3 pound testicles, Turner Brown."

The white man faints and falls to the floor.

The big guy kneels down and brings him to, shaking him.. The big guy says: What's wrong with you?"

In a weak voice the little guy says, "What EXACTLY did you say to me?"

The big dude says: "I saw your curious look and figured I'd just give you the answers to the questions everyone always asks me...... I'm 7 feet tall, I weigh 350 pounds, I have a 20 inch dick, my testicles weigh 3 pounds each, and my name is Turner Brown."

The small guy says: "Turner Brown?!....Sweet Jesus, I thought you said, Turn around!"

16/05/09

Well, I was WRONG about people not wanting to see a video of me falling in to a river (if you also wanna see the pictures, go here) and was WRONG about thinking people would say "OH NO! Poor Tony! Perhaps I should send him a dozen beers in the hope of making the poor guy feel better! man, I would've needed an ambulance to take me away from a crash like that, Tony's so tough!"

In fact, people think it's funny! I know, I can barely believe it myself. From Cullen:

That has 2 b the funniest shit I have seen in a long time. And let me say that 5 stitches doesn't make a cut, it's a scratch. I wish I was there 2 see it unfold

01/05/09

Becs and JP have both sent this around, titled
Where Pig Flu Came From:

30/03/09

Hoo, wee, been a long time since I added anything here!

To make up for it, here's a video of Sony's latest product... warning, contains a LOT of swearing, if you planning on cranking this up at work!

Cheers, Petra.

29/01/09

Kent sent around a link to the best complaint letter ever. Well worth a read, with pictures!

19/01/09

My boss forwarded  this around:

Subject: School Prank

Who says Today's Kids aren't smart ??????? I wish I'd thought of this...

At a high School in Montana a group of high schoolers played a prank on the school. They let three goats loose in the school. Before they let them go they painted numbers on the sides of the goats.. 1,2,4. Local school administrators spent most of the day looking for #3.

12/01/09

My Auntie send me this video (well, more sound) file of a telemarketer getting fooled by the person he rang. I'm pretty sure I've heard it before, but deserves posting again, as it's bl00dy brilliant!

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